JOKES

Jokes That Make You Go Hmm?

Ever wonder how much deeper the oceans would be without sponges?
If light travels faster than sound,
is this why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?

Have a Laugh on Us

He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
Why is it called rush hour when the traffic is moving the slowest?
If love is blind, why is so much money spent on lingerie?
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
Why is a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
A fine is a tax for doing something wrong.
A tax is a fine for doing so well.
Why is a man who invests all your money called a broker?
If the person who plays a piano is called a pianist,
why isn't the person who races cars called a racist?
If people from Poland are called Poles,
why don't we call people from Holland Holes?
If tin whistles are made out of tin,
what do they make fog horns out of?
If your parents never had children, it's a good bet that you won't either.
Never be afraid of trying to do something new.
Remember it was amateurs that built the ark and professionals that built the Titanic.
How can a cemetery raise its price on a burial and blame it on the cost of living?

Did you know that in the English language ...	... stewardesses ... lollipop ... typewriter ... dreamt ... month, orange, silver, purple ... abstemious, facetious
longest word typed with only the left hand longest word typed with your right hand longest word typed on one row of the keyboard only word that ends with the 2 letters "mt" words that don't rhyme with anything only words which have all 5 vowels (aeiou) in order

How can we have . . .
plastic glasses
jumbo shrimp (American) (note: joke doesn't work in Australia .. called prawns, not shrimp)
a male lady bug ?

And finally . . .

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen are defrocked, shouldn't . . .
   electricians be delighted
   musicians be denoted
   models be deposed
   tree surgeons be debarked
   cowboys be deranged
   dry cleaners be depressed ?

Go Up